I used to get beaten with a hammer.

I used to get beaten with a hammer. Well, a steak basher actually. She was stressed but it hurt. I don’t know if it went on for weeks or months. It had long-term effects that I only realised recently.

BS used to beat me up a lot. He used to encourage his mates to come around and beat me too. KF used to love making me lie on the floor so he could climb atop the sofa and then jump on me, landing with his elbows and knees. It hurt a lot. One day I tried to hang myself to it wouldn’t happen anymore.

RF stabbed me with her kitchen knife. It wasn’t deep and I was in shock more than hurt. It was different to when she smashed the dustpan on my head. She used to scream and shout at me an awful lot. Sometimes I ran away. Once I went to sleep in a bush. She was worried and sent a friend to look for me, who brought me home so she could apologise.

The bloke in the toilets grabbed my mate by the throat and demanded “tax”. He didn’t take my mate’s gold ring, but he did take my plastic fake gold bracelet. We shouldn’t have been where we were as we were only children. The guys who stole my Walkman an hour later argued with each other and gave it back. We got mugged three times that night in Birmingham.

BM helped me a lot. She was really nice. She told me I was in her “wank bank”. She told me she would get me things. When she booked a hotel room near where I was living we went for a drink. We went back to her hotel room and she pinned me down on the bed and tried it on. I said I didn’t want to do anything but I was also worried she would affect my career.

I’ve always wondered what would have happened if they caught me – there must have been ten of them, armed with hammers, baseball bats and knifes. There was nobody around. Nobody in their right mind would head down that part of town except me. I knew they would set upon me as soon as I caught them out of the corner of my eye. After I got away I wondered if they might have killed me.

ZS terrified me. She used to make me shake. She broke my things quite a lot when she was angry. I often tried to get away but she would always turn up. I never knew what to do.

I had been sat chatting with the EG earlier in the night. He was very drunk. When I saw him start on the little guy I put my drink down, ran over, put my arm around the EG as if we were old friends. I told him to come chat with me. I looked behind toward the little guy and mouthed “go, now”. After half an hour I decided to leave. The EG ran after me and when I turned around, he sucker-punched me. It was the first time I’d really seen stars.

?? grabbed me from behind and put her hand up my top. I didn’t want her to. On separate occasions JH and ZV put themselves into situations where they missed their last transport home. I let them come back to mine. They came into my bedroom and put their hands on me and kissed me. I pretended to be passed out until they stopped. On another occasion XY twisted her leg around mine so I couldn’t get away, and then kissed me. I was worried about JH XY and ??, as I worked with them and thought they might tell people. There are loads of similar instances.

I don’t know why the two guys attacked me. I let them swing for me for a bit shouting for them to stop. Then I had enough. I pushed one of them to the ground, shouting at both of them to stop punching me. They didn’t stop so I banged the head of one of them on the floor, which knocked him out and caused the other to stop punching me.  OD came round the next day and I told her and felt bad and cried.

QW punched me in the eye. “What was that for?” She kind of laughed and said “sorry but you’re annoying”. Everyone laughed because I can indeed be annoying.

It certainly wasn’t the first burglary or theft. The others hardly even registered. But I did call the police. I had to for the insurance. They said “you know we can’t do anything other than give you a crime number for insurance?” I said “yeah, that’s why I called”

When I was in court I was asked “So why didn’t you call the police?” I didn’t want to tell them that around where I grew up you never call the police

And so I don’t really pay much attention to crime statistics. Their validity seems anathema to me.

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